Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
