were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
