No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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