he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
