Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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