How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Still dying that you shit outside
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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