I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
