jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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