when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
