so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
