If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
