so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
