quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
