she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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