I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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