I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
