I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
