OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
