I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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