I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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