Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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