Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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