i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
