Swine flu. Run for my life!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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