Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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