I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
