I wish i was in the wii world.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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