why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
