Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
