Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
