I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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