I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
