ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
