She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
