I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
