she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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