i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
