he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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