just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
