I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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