I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i think my cat just said my name.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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