ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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