lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
