A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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