dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
