this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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