I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
