i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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