I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
