i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
