Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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